SISTER PAULA MARIA

My Vocation Story

My name is Sister Paula Maria and to begin my vocation story, I would have to say that it is all about God’s grace and merciful love. I was born in Nicaragua, a very Catholic country by tradition, so I was raised a Catholic. When I was just a year old and shortly after my younger sister was born my parents divorced. Since my mom had to work my aunt raised us. After several years my mom remarried and decided to move to the United States, where things didn't work out for mom resulting in a new separation. Then we returned to Nicaragua, but our relationship with mom grew distant, so much so, that my sister and I decided to live with our grandparents. During this first few years God was not an essential part of my life.

My grandparents were very religious and encouraged us to go to church and we also went to a Catholic school. As part of my religious class I asked to do volunteer work with one of the parish groups. At this time I was invited to join the parish choir as well as to help with catechesis for children in the parish. During this time I met many new friends and enjoyed socializing. My relationship with one of these friends was very special and we spent a great deal of time together. I was then 15 years old, and my life focus was friends and reading lots of novels. It was through my interest in novels that I accidentally found the autobiography of Mother Mary Teresa of Saint Joseph. Although a biography was not the type of book I enjoyed reading since there were no other novels available to me, I read it. The thought of a religious vocation was remote in my mind, however this book planted a little seed in my heart.

Through my involvement in the parish volunteer work, I met the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus, as most of the activities in the parish were coordinated by them. When I was asked to make a report on the vocation story of a religious person, as part of a school assignment, I decided to interview sister Mercedes, who took care of the choir. When I finished the report she asked me if I would like to become a sister. It was the first time someone ever asked me about religious life and although I had not given much thought to my vocation in life, I accepted the small brochure that she gave me. I looked at it and put it in one of my notebooks and didn't see it again for a long time.

I have a deep passion for music and being integrated in the choir of the church made me take to heart many songs. One of these songs made me appreciate my love for Jesus and caused me to change the path of my life. This happened one evening during Mass when the communion song was played and I felt deep in my heart that He was calling me. Something was beginning to happen and I was not sure of what it was but it was clear that I was experiencing a change of heart.

After this my interests, my priorities, and my relationships with my friends changed. I found that the social activities that I so much enjoyed before was no longer so important, and I began to spend less and less time with my friends. I decided to go on a retreat that my school organized annually for all the seniors. It was during this retreat that God pointed me to a new direction. It became clear to me during this retreat that the Lord was calling me to a religious vocation. Now the question was: which institute?

After the retreat, with these thoughts in my heart and in my mind, I remembered the brochure given to me two years earlier as well as the autobiography I had read. I recalled that at that time I had thought that if I had a religious vocation, I would like to be one of her daughters. To my surprise I discovered that the Foundress of the Carmelite Sisters in my parish was Mother Mary Teresa of St. Joseph whose autobiography I had accidentally read.

So I took courage and visited the sisters and learned more about the call to the religious life. I asked the superior of the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus if I could be received into their order; I wrote a letter formally asking permission, which was given to me. My school years were about to end but another part of my life was about to begin. I wanted to give myself completely to The Lord and I could only hope to receive enough graces to fulfill this desire. I can say today, that after many trials and difficulties He has proved to be there for me when I needed Him the most. He had forgiven all my faults and I have loved Him more for that. I love Him with a deep passion and I only want to serve Him for the rest of my life.

Sister Paula Maria